Rebel Loss

Secrets.

They exist. I have them. You have them.
The man a few houses down who throws leather and Tupperware parties (no joke) has them.

My biggest secret is eating. Sounds crazy, right? No really. It's true.

Let me explain further: I graze in public, but gorge in private. I fast around friends, but shovel food in my mouth when I'm alone. I eat before a party, refuse the food there, then go home and eat some more.

I don't think I'm the only one out there who does this either.

Today, I had to face a truth. Here it is: I can hide what I eat, how much I eat and where I eat it, but I cannot hide what it does to my body.

Now, I can argue that I have a slow metabolism...but I don't.
I can argue that I eat because I'm always hungry...but I'm not.
I can argue that my scale is off by x amount of pounds compared to my neighbor's/doctor's/parent's scale...but it's not.
I can lie as much as I want, but today, I'm telling the truth.

I cannot hide my food addiction.
I am not a healthy eater.
I have a hard time eating until I'm satisfied but very good at eating until I'm bursting at the seams.

The last secret I have to tell is how much I weigh.

Before I reveal it, here's a truth: A number is just a number.

Deep huh?

Example: It's improper to ask a woman her weight. Why? Are all women - including those most people consider thin - ashamed of a number? A number is just a number, right? It doesn't mean anything more than a couple numeric symbols placed next to each other to create a larger numeric symbol, right?

Right?

If that's true, then why do we believe that our worth is defined by that number - be it large or small?

Numbers are as different as people. There are large numbers and there are small numbers, just like our bodies. Numbers can be positive or negative, just like our personalities. Numbers can change over time and numbers stay stagnant, just like you and me.

As you can see, humans and numbers have similar attributes, but only humans can define numbers. Numbers cannot define humans.

That number on your scale is only a representation of your weight. It does not define you. It can't tell you how much of that weight is muscle, fat, bone, blood, water, inflammation or organ tissue. It doesn't reveal your achievements, successes, personality - and frankly - who you are. It only reveals how much you weigh during one snapshot moment in time. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So here's my biggest secret: I weigh 232.2 lbs. It's just a number, and today, a starting point for change.

My challenge to you is to tell someone your number. Say it loud and proud. Texting doesn't cut it. The more people you tell, the more you will find the strength to realize that number is only a number - and that you have the power to change it.

Do not wait until tomorrow, and let today be the day you let go of your secrets.

~ Rebel